Poems by William Topaz McGonagall

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An Autumn Reverie

Alas! Beautiful Summer now hath fled,

And the face of Nature doth seem dead,

And the leaves are withered, and falling off the trees,

By the nipping and chilling autumnal breeze.

The pleasures of the little birds are all fled,

And with the cold many of them will be found dead,

Because the leaves of the trees are scattered in the blast,

And makes the feathered creatures feel downcast.

by William Topaz McGonagall

A Tale of Christmas Eve

'Twas Christmastide in Germany,

And in the year of 1850,

And in the city of Berlin, which is most beautiful to the eye;

A poor boy was heard calling out to passers-by.

"Who'll buy my pretty figures," loudly he did cry,

Plaster of Paris figures, but no one inclined to buy;

His clothes were thin and he was nearly frozen with cold,

And wholly starving with hunger, a pitiful sight to behold.

by William Topaz McGonagall

The Demon Drink

Oh, thou demon Drink, thou fell destroyer;

Thou curse of society, and its greatest annoyer.

What hast thou done to society, let me think?

I answer thou hast caused the most of ills, thou demon Drink.

Thou causeth the mother to neglect her child,

Also the father to act as he were wild,

So that he neglects his loving wife and family dear,

By spending his earnings foolishly on whisky, rum and beer.

by William Topaz McGonagall

Glasgow

Beautiful city of Glasgow, with your streets so neat and clean,

Your stateley mansions, and beautiful Green!

Likewise your beautiful bridges across the River Clyde,

And on your bonnie banks I would like to reside.

Chorus —

Then away to the west — to the beautiful west!

To the fair city of Glasgow that I like the best,

Where the River Clyde rolls on to the sea,

by William Topaz McGonagall

General Roberts in Afghanistan

'Twas in the year of 1878, and. the winter had set in,

Lord Roberts and the British Army their march did begin,

On their way to Afghanistan to a place called Cabul;

And the weather was bitter cold and the rivers swollen and full.

And the enemy were posted high up amongst the hills,

And when they saw the British, with fear their blood thrills;

The savages were camped on the hillsides in war array,

And occupying a strong position which before the British lay.

by William Topaz McGonagall

The Christmas Goose

Mr. Smiggs was a gentleman,

And he lived in London town;

His wife she was a good kind soul,

And seldom known to frown.

'Twas on Christmas eve,

And Smiggs and his wife lay cosy in bed,

When the thought of buying a goose

Came into his head.

by William Topaz McGonagall

The Wreck of the Steamer 'London', while on her way to Australia

'Twas in the year of 1866, and on a very beautiful day,

That eighty-two passengers, with spirits light and gay,

Left Gravesend harbour, and sailed gaily away

On board the steamship "London,"

Bound for the city of Melbourne,

Which unfortunately was her last run,

Because she was wrecked on the stormy main,

Which has caused many a heart to throb with pain,

by William Topaz McGonagall

Adventures of King Robert the Bruce

King Robert the Bruce's deadly enemy, John of Lorn,

Joined the English with eight hundred Highlanders one morn,

All strong, hardy, and active fearless mountaineers,

But Bruce's men attacked them with swords and spears.

And while they were engaged, a new enemy burst upon them,

Like a torrent of water rushing down a rocky glen:

It was John of Lorn and his Highlanders that came upon them,

So the tide of battle was too much for them to stem.

by William Topaz McGonagall

An Adventure in the Life of King James V of Scotland

On one occasion King James the Fifth of Scotland, when alone, in disguise,

Near by the Bridge of Cramond met with rather a disagreeable surprise.

He was attacked by five gipsy men without uttering a word,

But he manfully defended himself with his sword.

There chanced to be a poor man threshing corn in a barn near by,

Who came out on hearing the noise so high;

And seeing one man defending himself so gallantly,

That he attacked the gipsies with his flail, and made them flee.

by William Topaz McGonagall

A Tribute to Henry M Stanley

Welcome, thrice welcome, to the city of Dundee,

The great African explorer Henry M Stanley,

Who went out to Africa its wild regions to explore,

And travelled o'er wild and lonely deserts, fatigued and footsore.

And what he and his little band suffered will never be forgot,

Especially one in particular, Major Edmund Barttelot,

Alas! the brave heroic Officer by a savage was shot,

The commandant of the rear column - O hard has been his lot!

by William Topaz McGonagall

An Address to the Rev George Gilfillan

All hail to the Rev. George Gilfillan of Dundee,

He is the greatest preacher I did ever hear or see.

He is a man of genius bright,

And in him his congregation does delight,

Because they find him to be honest and plain,

Affable in temper, and seldom known to complain.

He preaches in a plain straightforward way,

The people flock to hear him night and day,

by William Topaz McGonagall

Beautiful Aberfoyle

The mountains and glens of Aberfoyle are beautiful to sight,

Likewise the rivers and lakes are sparkling and bright;

And its woods were frequented by the Lady of the Lake,

And on its Lakes many a sail in her boat she did take.

The scenery there will fill the tourist with joy,

Because 'tis there once lived the bold Rob Roy,

Who spent many happy days with his Helen there,

By chasing the deer in the woods so fair.

by William Topaz McGonagall