Ruby - Astari Boedikoentjara
When you're gone
I wish for another day with you
Impossible but it's true
No one is ever ready for such news
The secondhand poem
you once wrote for me
now used to woo another lady
Boy, you’re so lazy!
If she knew the backstory,
she’d be displeased
I've been transported back in time
something familiar
yet also bizarre
the same old Twilight Zone
with the same old Culture of Silence
INTRO:
Welcome to the class of life.
Experience is your teacher.
Here's your lesson:
It’s that rare ability
to push aside your emotions
Lock them all within
so you’re left to feel nothing
Voices of the worried
This ain’t no desperation
I’m just contemplating
weighing my options
seriously considering
Yes, we don’t get to choose
You can never stop time
but there’s an illusion of a pause
Turn off the phone
Close all the windows
Lock all your doors
Lie down
It’s the environment
I’d rather not be in
full of such impossible demands
and scolding remarks
for my lack of perfection
There’s a thin, fine line
between being lazy
and experiencing lethargy
I feel I’ve been half-awake
Perhaps it’s too much coffee
I won’t promise you
that it won’t rain all the time
but we know it’s true
‘though it takes a while.
It feels like forever
You will know that I love you
even when I don’t say it
not even out loud
or even when I’m still way too proud
That fact, I have to admit
I still own it
He bares his straight, white teeth for a smile
as he greets me with his shy “Hello”,
while I politely nod as I go.
His dark complexion slightly glistens
under the Jakarta morning sun.